And so he said to me,
'When ever I hear this song, I think of you.'
And I said,
':)'
And it was nice.
♥b.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Tiiiinnnneees! Tinnnnnneeeeess!
So, as most of you probably already know, it's valentines day.
Valentines day and myself have never really been in good company.
(Why yes, I am one of those bitter girls who doesn't enjoy Valentines day)
However, I do have a date with Percy Jackson for the rest of the day. I don't care if he's 13, he's bad-ass, and a demi-god. YEAH.
♥b
Valentines day and myself have never really been in good company.
(Why yes, I am one of those bitter girls who doesn't enjoy Valentines day)
However, I do have a date with Percy Jackson for the rest of the day. I don't care if he's 13, he's bad-ass, and a demi-god. YEAH.
♥b
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Without mentioning any names.
I've always wanted to write a letter to myself at age 12. Normally, it would be done at a more 'life-changing' age, but a lot happens before I turn 16... right so here goes.
Becky: Age 12,
By this time, I'm sure you've found out that you made it into band. Don't be scared though, I know you probably feel like you have a lot to live up to after Lindy, but all will be well. In-fact, you'll be a slightly better clarinet player then she ever was. Enjoy that while it lasts. Have fun in band, don't let your shy-ness get the better of you... for it is here, you will meet one of your best friends. Best friends you'll remain for years to come until she moves away. Which, will be hard... but you'll accept it after a while.
Move away from your original circle of friends, they're all going to go down paths you don't want to be on anyway. You'll find new friends. Some good, some bad, and some down right horrible. Try not to think too much of the horrible ones, what's a young girls life if not to have some bad friends right?
Your life is going to pass by pretty pleasantly through Junior High, and you'll enjoy it. So, when it comes time to head to High School, you'll be sad to leave, but happy for your journey ahead. But, this is when it happens. The worst thing you'll ever have to go through no doubt. You won't believe it, in-fact not for a long time. You'll get sick, you'll get lost, and you'll get found. All will be well.
After that's done and over with, you will meet the three best friends you'll ever have, and ever need. They will save your life, keep you sane, make you smile, and be there when ever you need them. Hold on tight, and never let go of these three. You wouldn't be able to handle it without them. You'll learn to love, and appreciate music more than ever. The being shy thing? That'll go away, just wait. It's not so bad to talk to people. Upon graduation, you'll be heartbroken knowing you can't spend everysingle day in a familiar routine, with the people you've come to rely on... but eventually you will embrace it. University turns out, just isn't your thing, but you'll be okay with that. Art, film, photography, and music will all be the essence of your life. You'll analyze them, make them, create them, and love because of them.
Oh, speaking of live... you'll fall in love three times. Be careful, it'll hurt when your heart breaks, but it's bound to happen. Your first kiss will be a bit awkward cause you'll have no idea what's going on, or what to do. But it will always make you smile. As goes for your first love, even though it didn't work the way you wanted.
You're going to have to hurt someone, and you won't enjoy it one bit. In-fact... it'll hurt you a lot more knowing what it's going to do to them, but it needs to be done. So don't back out.
Learn to accept things, and don't dwell on the past. What's done is done.
You'll work your way through some tough times, and come out with some great friends, good experiences, and a generally good outlook on life.
-Becky:Age 20
Ps. Snowboarding? Probably not a good idea!
P.P.S. He's going to define the word love for you, don't be scared... you never know how it'll end up.
Becky: Age 12,
By this time, I'm sure you've found out that you made it into band. Don't be scared though, I know you probably feel like you have a lot to live up to after Lindy, but all will be well. In-fact, you'll be a slightly better clarinet player then she ever was. Enjoy that while it lasts. Have fun in band, don't let your shy-ness get the better of you... for it is here, you will meet one of your best friends. Best friends you'll remain for years to come until she moves away. Which, will be hard... but you'll accept it after a while.
Move away from your original circle of friends, they're all going to go down paths you don't want to be on anyway. You'll find new friends. Some good, some bad, and some down right horrible. Try not to think too much of the horrible ones, what's a young girls life if not to have some bad friends right?
Your life is going to pass by pretty pleasantly through Junior High, and you'll enjoy it. So, when it comes time to head to High School, you'll be sad to leave, but happy for your journey ahead. But, this is when it happens. The worst thing you'll ever have to go through no doubt. You won't believe it, in-fact not for a long time. You'll get sick, you'll get lost, and you'll get found. All will be well.
After that's done and over with, you will meet the three best friends you'll ever have, and ever need. They will save your life, keep you sane, make you smile, and be there when ever you need them. Hold on tight, and never let go of these three. You wouldn't be able to handle it without them. You'll learn to love, and appreciate music more than ever. The being shy thing? That'll go away, just wait. It's not so bad to talk to people. Upon graduation, you'll be heartbroken knowing you can't spend everysingle day in a familiar routine, with the people you've come to rely on... but eventually you will embrace it. University turns out, just isn't your thing, but you'll be okay with that. Art, film, photography, and music will all be the essence of your life. You'll analyze them, make them, create them, and love because of them.
Oh, speaking of live... you'll fall in love three times. Be careful, it'll hurt when your heart breaks, but it's bound to happen. Your first kiss will be a bit awkward cause you'll have no idea what's going on, or what to do. But it will always make you smile. As goes for your first love, even though it didn't work the way you wanted.
You're going to have to hurt someone, and you won't enjoy it one bit. In-fact... it'll hurt you a lot more knowing what it's going to do to them, but it needs to be done. So don't back out.
Learn to accept things, and don't dwell on the past. What's done is done.
You'll work your way through some tough times, and come out with some great friends, good experiences, and a generally good outlook on life.
-Becky:Age 20
Ps. Snowboarding? Probably not a good idea!
P.P.S. He's going to define the word love for you, don't be scared... you never know how it'll end up.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Stupid Girl
She doesn't have to go to work,
but she doesn't want to stay in bed.
cause it's changed from something comfortable, to something else instead.
I'm just really tired of all this.
♥ b
but she doesn't want to stay in bed.
cause it's changed from something comfortable, to something else instead.
I'm just really tired of all this.
♥ b
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Not a List
No, this time I actually feel as if I have something legit to write. And by 'legit' I mean, not a list.
It's 3:08AM, and for some peculiar reason, I'm wide awake. This could be because I had a nap this afternoon, or it could be because it's way too hot in my room. However, I think it might just be because I've a lot of things on my mind, that my brain won't let go of.
And such, with no one to talk to, I've resorted to posting a blog with everything that's on my mind.
This is fact, not fiction for the first time in years. I don't lie about things ever, but I feel like I've been telling people lies because I believe them to be truths.
Is it really a lie though, if what I'm telling you is something I think with everything that I am is true? Or is it still a lie, if it is in-fact... not the truth?
I don't what I'm saying anymore. To you, to myself, to the world. It doesn't make sense to me anymore. And while at the same time, it all makes sense. And I realize for any unfortunate soul who happens upon reading this, that it won't make any sense.
I know this, because I don't get it either.
My Heart.
It confuses me daily. My brain knows what it wants, but so does my heart. It's unfortunate really that they aren't the same thing.
conflicts.
I know in my heart I did the right thing, but a part of my brain disagrees.
Have you ever had that before? I'm sure you have... it can't just be me right? I hope not.
It's discouraging either way. And nothing good can ever come from a conflict such as that between the brain, and the heart. Which ever one you choose to side with, will end up jumping out of your body, with a knife to go a murder someones feelings.
asshole.
People.
My love-hate relationship with people grows each day. Sometimes it's more along the 'love' side. While more often than not it veers toward the 'hate' side. I'd like to be that girl who could accept the way people act, but I can't.
I can't accept that you won't leave me alone. I can't accept that you don't care about what happened. I can't accept that you pretend things are peachy. I can't accept that fact that you don't believe me. I can't accept the fact that you did what you did to me, no matter how great it may be. I can't accept the fact that you said what you did.
Over all. I can't accept you.
Not anymore.
Other People.
friends to be more specific. I've got great ones. I've got okay ones. And some that just don't bother. I've friends that I've known my whole life, and friends that I've never actually met before. Allow me to further discuss those friends in which I've never met.
Internet randoms. They're great. In-fact one of my best friends is an internet random. Now, I'm not going to get into the exact details of how we met, but let's just say creeping was involved. And such a friendship blossomed. Okay, so maybe he's a few years younger than me... but he knows a lot more about me than most people. Partially because we've realized we're the same person. Twins if you will.
separated at birth.
a whole ocean of separation.
And then, I have other friends. Real friends. Who, though I never ever see anymore. Know me better than anyone. Who I miss terribly when they're gone. But love to be around when we're together. I just miss them a lot.
morethananything.
School
sweetbabyjesus. Why did i ever decide to do what I'm doing? and when did I think it would be enjoyable? I mean, it's school... and since when has school been anything but crazy? But. Regrets.
regretsregrets.
I've decided though, i'm going to stop wasting my time in unnecessary endeavors upon 'graduation'. And take the time I need to save up money, buy a car, build a decent photographic portfolio, and apply to schools away from here. I've thought about one in Ireland, and one in Michigan. Both would offer me a degree in photography(were I to be accepted), and both offer me the opportunity to be around people I enjoy.
And while Ireland is full of irish people. America is closer to home.
And last but not least.
Dreams.
and no, not the 'goals' kind.
the type you have when you're asleep.
I've been having the same dream for days now. Now, normally I don't believe all that 'your dreams are telling you something' hullabaloo... but it's been almost a week straight. Each night, I have the same dream. Nothing is different. The clothing worn is the same, the haircut the same, the street names the same, the people, the same. The way things are said. You guessed it. THE SAME.
So now, when I go to bed, I think about all of those things. And there's much much much more to be said about each, but I've wasted your time long enough.
♥b
"Things will get better" i told myself
"No they won't" replied my reflection.
It's 3:08AM, and for some peculiar reason, I'm wide awake. This could be because I had a nap this afternoon, or it could be because it's way too hot in my room. However, I think it might just be because I've a lot of things on my mind, that my brain won't let go of.
And such, with no one to talk to, I've resorted to posting a blog with everything that's on my mind.
This is fact, not fiction for the first time in years. I don't lie about things ever, but I feel like I've been telling people lies because I believe them to be truths.
Is it really a lie though, if what I'm telling you is something I think with everything that I am is true? Or is it still a lie, if it is in-fact... not the truth?
I don't what I'm saying anymore. To you, to myself, to the world. It doesn't make sense to me anymore. And while at the same time, it all makes sense. And I realize for any unfortunate soul who happens upon reading this, that it won't make any sense.
I know this, because I don't get it either.
My Heart.
It confuses me daily. My brain knows what it wants, but so does my heart. It's unfortunate really that they aren't the same thing.
conflicts.
I know in my heart I did the right thing, but a part of my brain disagrees.
Have you ever had that before? I'm sure you have... it can't just be me right? I hope not.
It's discouraging either way. And nothing good can ever come from a conflict such as that between the brain, and the heart. Which ever one you choose to side with, will end up jumping out of your body, with a knife to go a murder someones feelings.
asshole.
People.
My love-hate relationship with people grows each day. Sometimes it's more along the 'love' side. While more often than not it veers toward the 'hate' side. I'd like to be that girl who could accept the way people act, but I can't.
I can't accept that you won't leave me alone. I can't accept that you don't care about what happened. I can't accept that you pretend things are peachy. I can't accept that fact that you don't believe me. I can't accept the fact that you did what you did to me, no matter how great it may be. I can't accept the fact that you said what you did.
Over all. I can't accept you.
Not anymore.
Other People.
friends to be more specific. I've got great ones. I've got okay ones. And some that just don't bother. I've friends that I've known my whole life, and friends that I've never actually met before. Allow me to further discuss those friends in which I've never met.
Internet randoms. They're great. In-fact one of my best friends is an internet random. Now, I'm not going to get into the exact details of how we met, but let's just say creeping was involved. And such a friendship blossomed. Okay, so maybe he's a few years younger than me... but he knows a lot more about me than most people. Partially because we've realized we're the same person. Twins if you will.
separated at birth.
a whole ocean of separation.
And then, I have other friends. Real friends. Who, though I never ever see anymore. Know me better than anyone. Who I miss terribly when they're gone. But love to be around when we're together. I just miss them a lot.
morethananything.
School
sweetbabyjesus. Why did i ever decide to do what I'm doing? and when did I think it would be enjoyable? I mean, it's school... and since when has school been anything but crazy? But. Regrets.
regretsregrets.
I've decided though, i'm going to stop wasting my time in unnecessary endeavors upon 'graduation'. And take the time I need to save up money, buy a car, build a decent photographic portfolio, and apply to schools away from here. I've thought about one in Ireland, and one in Michigan. Both would offer me a degree in photography(were I to be accepted), and both offer me the opportunity to be around people I enjoy.
And while Ireland is full of irish people. America is closer to home.
And last but not least.
Dreams.
and no, not the 'goals' kind.
the type you have when you're asleep.
I've been having the same dream for days now. Now, normally I don't believe all that 'your dreams are telling you something' hullabaloo... but it's been almost a week straight. Each night, I have the same dream. Nothing is different. The clothing worn is the same, the haircut the same, the street names the same, the people, the same. The way things are said. You guessed it. THE SAME.
So now, when I go to bed, I think about all of those things. And there's much much much more to be said about each, but I've wasted your time long enough.
♥b
"Things will get better" i told myself
"No they won't" replied my reflection.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Jammers
Of the kool-aid variety.
They were on sale this week, so I picked up a box.
And I would like to say, that as a 20 year old. I think they're phenomenal.
♥b
They were on sale this week, so I picked up a box.
And I would like to say, that as a 20 year old. I think they're phenomenal.
♥b
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
2am. really?
Apparently, people...who shall remain nameless... like to be super loud whilst other people are sleeping.
And when sleeping person wakes up and asks awake person to be a little more quiet, they do not.
It's not like sleepy person dislikes awake person, it's just right now she's really angry because she was hoping tonight would be the first decent sleep she's had in a while. And like, she really wants awake person to be just a couple notches more quiet.
A few dB really is all she asks.
Only a few.
And when sleeping person wakes up and asks awake person to be a little more quiet, they do not.
It's not like sleepy person dislikes awake person, it's just right now she's really angry because she was hoping tonight would be the first decent sleep she's had in a while. And like, she really wants awake person to be just a couple notches more quiet.
A few dB really is all she asks.
Only a few.
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