in my blanket robe
to protect me crazy ghost
murders i'm sure is
That is all.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I Like the peace, in the back-seat...
Well really, I much prefer to be in the front seat. Because chances are, if I'm in the back seat... I'm not driving. Well hopefully, I wouldn't be driving from the back seat... I mean I know I have some skillz, but that would just be ridiculous.
Anyway, I had to write these letters. To people in my life recently, and even a couple from my past. Yeah, Yeah... I get it, it's kinda weird and I'm not gonna get into the details, but it was well needed.
The point of the letters was to let people know what's going on in my life, let them know how I feel about them, and how my life has been with/without them. Now, I don't have to send/give out any of these letters... it was more of something I had to do to sort things out in my head. I started them the other day, and got maybe 4 and a half done. A lot of writing perhaps, but it's hard to tell people somethings. REALLY HARD. Even if they may not ever see that letter. Now, I'm usually the person that if I have something to say, I just say it. 'Fuck the consequences' sort of deal. But, no matter what everything I really want to say to these people is tough as hell for me to write.
The first one I started writing was for Rosa, because I'm so happy that, that girl is in my life, because I've never had many decent girl friends... and I'll tell you something... this one in particular is GRAND.
Then after I finished hers, I began writing one to Curtis...and for those of you who don't know... Curtis was someone very special to me who passed away some years ago.
And after Curtis, came my mom... My poor poor mother, who thinks she knows plenty about my life... I took the opportunity to bitch her out in the letter, while at the same time thanking her for being grand.
After mama came Lindy... and that was a harsh one.
For now, I will continue to chew on the ends of my hood strings, whilst listening to Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Also just as a random completely unrelated to the above, I went out for photos today :D yayyyyy!!!!! Pictures of pets was our assignment, so lacking my own pet I had to go to Aunt Sherla's. She has beautiful dogs.
Casey,
AND...
Finnigan
♥b.
Anyway, I had to write these letters. To people in my life recently, and even a couple from my past. Yeah, Yeah... I get it, it's kinda weird and I'm not gonna get into the details, but it was well needed.
The point of the letters was to let people know what's going on in my life, let them know how I feel about them, and how my life has been with/without them. Now, I don't have to send/give out any of these letters... it was more of something I had to do to sort things out in my head. I started them the other day, and got maybe 4 and a half done. A lot of writing perhaps, but it's hard to tell people somethings. REALLY HARD. Even if they may not ever see that letter. Now, I'm usually the person that if I have something to say, I just say it. 'Fuck the consequences' sort of deal. But, no matter what everything I really want to say to these people is tough as hell for me to write.
The first one I started writing was for Rosa, because I'm so happy that, that girl is in my life, because I've never had many decent girl friends... and I'll tell you something... this one in particular is GRAND.
Then after I finished hers, I began writing one to Curtis...and for those of you who don't know... Curtis was someone very special to me who passed away some years ago.
And after Curtis, came my mom... My poor poor mother, who thinks she knows plenty about my life... I took the opportunity to bitch her out in the letter, while at the same time thanking her for being grand.
After mama came Lindy... and that was a harsh one.
For now, I will continue to chew on the ends of my hood strings, whilst listening to Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Also just as a random completely unrelated to the above, I went out for photos today :D yayyyyy!!!!! Pictures of pets was our assignment, so lacking my own pet I had to go to Aunt Sherla's. She has beautiful dogs.
Casey,
AND...
Finnigan
♥b.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A hundred? Srsly.
So I was checking my Devaint for the first time in a long time today, and I noticed a girl I follow, posted a new journal with 100 secrets or fun facts that aren't very well known. So I though... Hey why don't I do this.
And less of 100 secrets and more of 100 things that pop into my head.
And here we do.. I'll try to explain a few as I go.
This is gonna be a long one!
1. Sometimes, when people lose my trust...I don't let them know and just allow myself to drift away from them.
2. For the longest time, before I could go to sleep, I had to have my blanket up over my ears, with my back against the wall, facing the door. The reason? I had a dream that vampires lived in my closet once, and I thought they might come for me. After a while, it just became habit.
3. I now sleep on my stomach, facing the wall, hugging pillows.
4. When I feel uncomfortable sometimes, I try to make things funny. Which brings me to the next,
5. I like when people laugh at my funnies, CONFIDENCE BOOST.
6. Silence. It terrifies me. Not kidding.
7. I've few fears, the list includes, (Silence, obvi), Heights, and being alone.
8. I have a wide variety of my taste in music.
9. There's been many of occasions when I've actually wanted to do drugs. This is weird for me because I'm not a fan, and I've never done... but sometimes.. I really wish I could.
10. I realized that as this list goes on these things are just going to get ridiculous.
11. I hate judgement. What people think of me, is actually really important to me.
12. Then again, after a while.... I actually quit caring.
13. I've stopped being friends with 90 percent of the people I was friends with growing up.
14. I still, at age 20(almost), sleep with a teddy bear.
15. I've had my stuffed dalmatian for 14 years.
16. I quite often wish my life was like a movie, in which everything would work out for me.
17. Often, I think that because I watch too many movies, I expect too much out of life.
18. The world has disappointed me in more than one way. On several occasions.
19. I hate people.
20. I love people. It's complex.
21. My dreams are rarely good ones.
22. I always look into a persons eyes when I talk to them. Even if I know they don't like it.
23. If a person has nice eyes, I tend to ignore what they're saying.
24. I only use the numbers at the top of the keyboard for my password. Everything else is done on a numberpad.
25. Keyboards that don't have a number pad throw me off.
26. My favourite season in Spring, and not just because of my birthday... but because I really like how it smells.
27. I'm very keen on the way things smell. It's usually the first thing I notice when I go places.
28. The most amazing smell in the world is man. And not like icky man, but a clean showered man.
29. Accents make me melt.
MISSING. Oops
32. There was a time when I thought I would never ever fall in love, and I've come to terms with that.
33. On the rare occasion I feel like I could let go.
34. Without the friends that I have right now, I know I wouldn't be here.
35. Sometimes when I hear a song, I'll relate it to a movie I've seen. 'Ohh! This song was in that one movie with Zach Braff, in that one scene.'
36. I memorize things, that need not be remember.
37. My locker combo from grade 7 was 15-5-24.
38. I didn't make that up.
39. When people use 'lol' not in irony, it sets me off a little.
40. I hate, hate, HATE, when people pick at me for talking to people I don't know.
41. I've met some amazing people, of random interwebs sites.
42. Speaking of things I hate. When people rush me. I will purposely go slowed just to piss you off.
43. It doesn't bother me if the TV volume isn't set to an 'even' number or one that ends in 5 or 0.
44. In-fact, I frequently say things, or do things that I know annoy people. Just for kicks.
45. It's easier for me to communicate with males then females.
46. Growing up, I had horrible friends(all girls) that caused me to have super low self esteem.
47. I hide my super low self esteem with humour.
48. I genuinely despise how I look.
49. I love how I have my room decorated.
50. Taking photos makes me happy, I love knowing how to take photos, how to compose good ones, it's my thing.
51. People who think they can take a camera, point and click, and become an INSTA-PHOTOGRAPHER, piss me off.
52. There are a lot of things that make me angry.
53. I've put effort into learning a sport, that I've actually had no interest in previously.
54. I secretly love it now.
55. Tennis. The only sport I can play.
56. I used to play softball. Till I got hit in the face and quit.
57. I'm now afraid of balls.
58. I take anything and everything out of context.
59. 'That's what she said' comes out of my mouth without me thinking now.
60. I get sad about things that I probably shouldn't get sad about.
61. I hold on to the past, and it's not good for me.
62. I see someone once a week. That's all I'm gonna put for this. You decide what it means.
63. I stopped caring.
64. There's a song coming from the speakers of my computer called 'Peeping Tom'. I love Reggae.
65. I know more about things than you probably think I do.
66. When people buy the same things as me... Not a fan.
67. I spend way too much time on the computer, because I don't want to put up with my family.
68. My brother Brandon is at work, I didn't even know he left.
69. I am definitely closer to Nathan, then I am Brandon. Which is kinda bad, but Brandon is always locked in his room, and is full of teenage angst.
70. I just lol'd that I just put a post for number '69'.
71. Currently I'm sitting in the dark, and I can't be bothered to turn on the lights.
72. My father was just told by Doctors that he has Ostio Arthritis, and this terrifies me.
73. I'm one of the biggest 'Daddy's Girls' you'll ever meet.
74. I'm afraid to tell my mother about my plans for the future.
75. My parents raised me well, and I will never, ever regret having them as parents.
76. The sister of Becky used to be her best friend.
77. I cried for hours when my dog died.
78. Sometimes, when I open the porch door, I still sneak in to make sure the dog doesn't get out... From habit.
79. I hold on to things for too long. I find it really hard to let go.
80. I'm not one to hold a grudge over a stupid thing.
81. That being said, it takes a lot for me to forgive someone.
82. For some unknown reason, this is my favourite number.
83. I had to change this number.
84. I hate the sound of dripping taps.
85. I thought I would be doing this for hours, when it really hasn't been that hard to think of things.
86. I value the friendships I have.
87. Driving fast always makes me feel better if I've had a bad day.
88. I'm boycotting The Golden Compass, and nothing you do can make me watch/read it.
89. I believe that anyone who doesn't like Ska is seriously disturbed.
90. I've often wondered if there was something I could do to change the world.
91. I didn't do my homework, because I don't know what it is.
92. On my lowest days, I can only talk to 1 person without getting annoyed with them.
93. I don't eat anything with a face, and I hate when people rub it in that they're eating a dead animal. I get it, okay?
94. The letters I use most on the lappy are; T, E, S, H, and N.
95. The first thing that popped into my mind when looking at those letters was how Sean Connery might say nest ... 'Nesht'.
96. My mom had a small freak attack after I bought bright coloured bras. I laughed.
97. My favourite song in the whole entire world in Moonlight Sonata.
98. Being a Canadian, I stereotypically say 'EH' often.
99. The biggest way to lose my trust, is to lie to me. Lie to me, and we're through.
100. The new MSN allows me a 'Favourites' group. There are FIVE people in that group. All boys.
So that's one hundred. Wow, I'm actually surprised at how easy that was.
And less of 100 secrets and more of 100 things that pop into my head.
And here we do.. I'll try to explain a few as I go.
This is gonna be a long one!
1. Sometimes, when people lose my trust...I don't let them know and just allow myself to drift away from them.
2. For the longest time, before I could go to sleep, I had to have my blanket up over my ears, with my back against the wall, facing the door. The reason? I had a dream that vampires lived in my closet once, and I thought they might come for me. After a while, it just became habit.
3. I now sleep on my stomach, facing the wall, hugging pillows.
4. When I feel uncomfortable sometimes, I try to make things funny. Which brings me to the next,
5. I like when people laugh at my funnies, CONFIDENCE BOOST.
6. Silence. It terrifies me. Not kidding.
7. I've few fears, the list includes, (Silence, obvi), Heights, and being alone.
8. I have a wide variety of my taste in music.
9. There's been many of occasions when I've actually wanted to do drugs. This is weird for me because I'm not a fan, and I've never done... but sometimes.. I really wish I could.
10. I realized that as this list goes on these things are just going to get ridiculous.
11. I hate judgement. What people think of me, is actually really important to me.
12. Then again, after a while.... I actually quit caring.
13. I've stopped being friends with 90 percent of the people I was friends with growing up.
14. I still, at age 20(almost), sleep with a teddy bear.
15. I've had my stuffed dalmatian for 14 years.
16. I quite often wish my life was like a movie, in which everything would work out for me.
17. Often, I think that because I watch too many movies, I expect too much out of life.
18. The world has disappointed me in more than one way. On several occasions.
19. I hate people.
20. I love people. It's complex.
21. My dreams are rarely good ones.
22. I always look into a persons eyes when I talk to them. Even if I know they don't like it.
23. If a person has nice eyes, I tend to ignore what they're saying.
24. I only use the numbers at the top of the keyboard for my password. Everything else is done on a numberpad.
25. Keyboards that don't have a number pad throw me off.
26. My favourite season in Spring, and not just because of my birthday... but because I really like how it smells.
27. I'm very keen on the way things smell. It's usually the first thing I notice when I go places.
28. The most amazing smell in the world is man. And not like icky man, but a clean showered man.
29. Accents make me melt.
MISSING. Oops
32. There was a time when I thought I would never ever fall in love, and I've come to terms with that.
33. On the rare occasion I feel like I could let go.
34. Without the friends that I have right now, I know I wouldn't be here.
35. Sometimes when I hear a song, I'll relate it to a movie I've seen. 'Ohh! This song was in that one movie with Zach Braff, in that one scene.'
36. I memorize things, that need not be remember.
37. My locker combo from grade 7 was 15-5-24.
38. I didn't make that up.
39. When people use 'lol' not in irony, it sets me off a little.
40. I hate, hate, HATE, when people pick at me for talking to people I don't know.
41. I've met some amazing people, of random interwebs sites.
42. Speaking of things I hate. When people rush me. I will purposely go slowed just to piss you off.
43. It doesn't bother me if the TV volume isn't set to an 'even' number or one that ends in 5 or 0.
44. In-fact, I frequently say things, or do things that I know annoy people. Just for kicks.
45. It's easier for me to communicate with males then females.
46. Growing up, I had horrible friends(all girls) that caused me to have super low self esteem.
47. I hide my super low self esteem with humour.
48. I genuinely despise how I look.
49. I love how I have my room decorated.
50. Taking photos makes me happy, I love knowing how to take photos, how to compose good ones, it's my thing.
51. People who think they can take a camera, point and click, and become an INSTA-PHOTOGRAPHER, piss me off.
52. There are a lot of things that make me angry.
53. I've put effort into learning a sport, that I've actually had no interest in previously.
54. I secretly love it now.
55. Tennis. The only sport I can play.
56. I used to play softball. Till I got hit in the face and quit.
57. I'm now afraid of balls.
58. I take anything and everything out of context.
59. 'That's what she said' comes out of my mouth without me thinking now.
60. I get sad about things that I probably shouldn't get sad about.
61. I hold on to the past, and it's not good for me.
62. I see someone once a week. That's all I'm gonna put for this. You decide what it means.
63. I stopped caring.
64. There's a song coming from the speakers of my computer called 'Peeping Tom'. I love Reggae.
65. I know more about things than you probably think I do.
66. When people buy the same things as me... Not a fan.
67. I spend way too much time on the computer, because I don't want to put up with my family.
68. My brother Brandon is at work, I didn't even know he left.
69. I am definitely closer to Nathan, then I am Brandon. Which is kinda bad, but Brandon is always locked in his room, and is full of teenage angst.
70. I just lol'd that I just put a post for number '69'.
71. Currently I'm sitting in the dark, and I can't be bothered to turn on the lights.
72. My father was just told by Doctors that he has Ostio Arthritis, and this terrifies me.
73. I'm one of the biggest 'Daddy's Girls' you'll ever meet.
74. I'm afraid to tell my mother about my plans for the future.
75. My parents raised me well, and I will never, ever regret having them as parents.
76. The sister of Becky used to be her best friend.
77. I cried for hours when my dog died.
78. Sometimes, when I open the porch door, I still sneak in to make sure the dog doesn't get out... From habit.
79. I hold on to things for too long. I find it really hard to let go.
80. I'm not one to hold a grudge over a stupid thing.
81. That being said, it takes a lot for me to forgive someone.
82. For some unknown reason, this is my favourite number.
83. I had to change this number.
84. I hate the sound of dripping taps.
85. I thought I would be doing this for hours, when it really hasn't been that hard to think of things.
86. I value the friendships I have.
87. Driving fast always makes me feel better if I've had a bad day.
88. I'm boycotting The Golden Compass, and nothing you do can make me watch/read it.
89. I believe that anyone who doesn't like Ska is seriously disturbed.
90. I've often wondered if there was something I could do to change the world.
91. I didn't do my homework, because I don't know what it is.
92. On my lowest days, I can only talk to 1 person without getting annoyed with them.
93. I don't eat anything with a face, and I hate when people rub it in that they're eating a dead animal. I get it, okay?
94. The letters I use most on the lappy are; T, E, S, H, and N.
95. The first thing that popped into my mind when looking at those letters was how Sean Connery might say nest ... 'Nesht'.
96. My mom had a small freak attack after I bought bright coloured bras. I laughed.
97. My favourite song in the whole entire world in Moonlight Sonata.
98. Being a Canadian, I stereotypically say 'EH' often.
99. The biggest way to lose my trust, is to lie to me. Lie to me, and we're through.
100. The new MSN allows me a 'Favourites' group. There are FIVE people in that group. All boys.
So that's one hundred. Wow, I'm actually surprised at how easy that was.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
You spin my head right round
I want to run away.
I want to run away to a place where I can be who I want to be.
To a place where I can be WITH, who I want to be (Which I'm sure is pretty obvious)
I want to go to a place where I can be the person I want to be on the inside. The one who doesn't cower. The one who just does things. All spur of the moment. I mean, there's obviously going to be things I'm still not going to do. But I'm too cautious I think.
I think? No.
This is most definitely something that I know.
I just had a huge fight with my mother, which I can tell you in itself is most unpleasant. BUT, this particular fight had to happen at one of the most INCONVENIENT times in the whole world. She seriously, GAH! I can't even begin to explain that woman to you.
This just in I'm a twat.
Becky being a twat: FIFTYMILLION
Becky NOT being a twat: Zero.
♥ b.
I want to run away to a place where I can be who I want to be.
To a place where I can be WITH, who I want to be (Which I'm sure is pretty obvious)
I want to go to a place where I can be the person I want to be on the inside. The one who doesn't cower. The one who just does things. All spur of the moment. I mean, there's obviously going to be things I'm still not going to do. But I'm too cautious I think.
I think? No.
This is most definitely something that I know.
I just had a huge fight with my mother, which I can tell you in itself is most unpleasant. BUT, this particular fight had to happen at one of the most INCONVENIENT times in the whole world. She seriously, GAH! I can't even begin to explain that woman to you.
This just in I'm a twat.
Becky being a twat: FIFTYMILLION
Becky NOT being a twat: Zero.
♥ b.
Friday, March 6, 2009
My Apologies
Is it possible to have a cold, and the flu at the same time?
I think it is. Because I'm pretty sure I do.
I feel like hell.
I had so much to write, so much I wanted to write about, and BAM... forgot it all.
Oops.
♥ b.
ps. it's probably the plague.
I think it is. Because I'm pretty sure I do.
I feel like hell.
I had so much to write, so much I wanted to write about, and BAM... forgot it all.
Oops.
♥ b.
ps. it's probably the plague.
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