Do you dream that the world will know your name?

So... tell me your name.
[We do though, don't we? All in our own way want to be known. We long to be recognized, to be wanted.]

And do you care, about all the little things?
Or... anything at all?
[The answer should be simple. The little things are the ones that make us who we are. It isn't where we live, who our parents are, our race, our religion. No. It's our favourite colour, it's loving your best friend, it's enjoying that small hello from a stranger on the street.]

I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside.
I wanna feel.
[I do though. I want to feel without touching]

I wanna sunburn just to know that I'm alive.
just to know I'm alive.
[A sunburn may not be the most pleasant, but it would remind me everyday that I most certainly am alive. And if I'm alive, I know it's for a reason. That sunburn, gives me reason]

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.
if I can't see the sun, then maybe I should go.
[I'd feel sad for anyone who'd want to know. To expect death everyday, would be the only thing that would actually kill you]


Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of Angels on the moon.
Where, everyone you know... never leaves too soon.
[A place where people never leave too soon would be the best place in the world. And anyone who's never experienced that, is luckier than they imagine]




And do you believe in the day that you were born?
Tell me, do you believe?
[I'm sure great things were achieved]

And do you know, that everyday's the first... of the rest of your life.
[Each day that has gone, doesn't exist anymore]

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know.
if I can't see the sun, then maybe I should go.

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of Angels on the moon.
Where, everyone you know... never leaves too soon.


This is to one last day in the shadows, and to know a brothers love.
this is to New York City Angels, and the rivers of our blood.
this is to all of us.


So, don't tell me if I'm dying. Cause I don't wanna know.

You can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill polluted skies. And show me where to run to when no one's left to take your side.
[i'll listen]
Don't tell me where the road is, cause I just don't wanna know.
[i'd rather make my own]




[what about you?]

♥b

hold me close, don't ever let me go.

Smile, like you mean it.

Just a perfect day, drank sangria in the park. And then later, when it gets dark. We go home.
Just a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you.

Oh, such a perfect day.
You just keep me hanging on.


Just a perfect day, problems all left alone, weekenders on our own, it's such fun.

Just a perfect day. You made me forget myself.

I though I was someone else.

Someone good.

Oh, it's such a perfect day, I'm glad I spent it with you.





One day, I'd like to have some sangria in the park with you for real,feed animals in the zoo, and a movie since you never watch any, forget all of our problems, be better people.
I guess in a sense... this is my way of telling you how much you mean to me.
Hopefully, without naming names. You'll realize that Lou Reed is telling you who you are.




♥ b.

Face Lift

I was getting tired of the old me.
It's just not who I am anymore or how I see things, and so I made a change.
I'm still wondering how I feel about the new one, and when I have the means to make it better I will, but for now... I suppose it's just a place holder.

It shouldn't have taken this long.

The more I sit here and think about it, the more that I can't forgive myself for allowing the sea of separation pull us away.

I'm going to tell you a story, you may be interested, you may not... But please.. Just listen.

I once had this friend, one might argue that of course, I must have had a lot of friends. And, in a way... the statement is true, but I've not had a friend like this. Nor, do I think I could ever have a friend of the same magnitude ever again.
I think, for you to get the full effect, I'll have to start at the beginning.

I was 14, maybe 15. That was the first time we met, in English I think. Through a mutual friend. But, I guess in retrospect, the when and how is unimportant. What's important is as high school progressed, so did our friendship. Finding ourselves in more and more classes together I began to realize just how wonderful he truly is. He became my other half, the zig to my zag if you will.

I remember the time when we had plans to make power rangers out of paperclips. And that time we took a stroll around the big city with camera's. The time when there was treasure to be sought, and Gross Domestic Product being formed. When I realized we were so much alike. How we'd spend the afternoon listening to crazy music, and making unnecessary websites. Creeping people we'd never even met before. Loving that fellow at the petrocan. I remember press-ons and cars being fixed. A coffee and a donut almost every morning. Drinks till the we hours of the morning, holding hands for fun. A stolen grad ring that I hold on to because it reminds me of everything good.

We created a game in which we would tell each other things no one knew about us, only pulling us closer at friends. And then... Something happened.
I don't even know what it was, or how it came to be. But it did... and things began to disintegrate. We saw less and less of each other. For a long time it was hard, really hard for me to live with less you. Then for a bit it was normal... But I started to realize it was just wrong. And I didn't like it. Not one bit. And then... I fell apart. Completely. And the only person I wanted to be with me was you. So we made plans to hang out the next, have a steamer. But I was followed. And that time I wanted with you to be ... sad... was interrupted.
I'd see you having grand ol times with different people, and I'd get jealous a bit. I suppose this is being selfish of me, for wanted things to go back to the way they were before, because I don't even know if you want things to return. If you don't, then that's okay... I guess what I really wanted you know is that I miss you.

And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting our friendship slip away to a talk-only-every-so-often kind of thing. I'm sorry that after I stopped driving, I allowed myself to drift away. I'm sorry I stole your grad ring.


So there you have it folks. We fell, it was hard, then for a brief moment the impact became lighter, until I started to realize what happened. The truth is, I think I let it slide for so long, because I didn't want to realize it was fading. I lied to myself.

That's all.


I'm sorry, I miss you. And even if we stay in this talk-and-hang-out-every-so-often kind of thing[though I really hope we don't] I'll always refer to you as the person who knows the most about who I am. Possibly a bit more than I know. You'll always be one of the best friends I've ever, and will ever have.

<3 b

And because, failure is an option.
It's just not one anyone wants to choose.


You know that as well as I, so why pretend?