i have a tumblr that I use sometimes.
do you?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Well I'm so proud tonight, of the woman you've beome.
3 years ago:
I was the kind of girl who just didn't care. I was lost, I was broken, and I was miserable. I pretended like I was fine, but don't we all? I was tired of being me. I spent most of my time alone, and nothing doing anything productive. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I hated that. I thought for some reason that it would ruin me. That I would fail, if I didn't figure it out, and soon. I would look in the mirror and be absolutely disgusted with what I saw. I hated everything about me. I was young and lonely. It was like someone took a puzzle and threw the pieces everywhere and they were impossible to find. So when I was trying to put me together, nothing would work right.
three years ago I gave up on trying.
today:
I'm the kind of girl who cares a lot more. I have been found, reassembled, and I feel genuinely happy 99% of the time. There's no more pretending, I just am. I still spend a lot of time alone, but I'm okay with it. I find something productive to do. I read more, I've started drawing more, I have a journal that keeps all the rambles of my creativity. I still don't know what exactly I want to do with my life, but I'm okay with not knowing. I like the mystery, and I like knowing that I have the capability to choose anything. I'm not afraid of falling. I have fallen, and I found someone who took the word love, and made it more than a word. They made it a feeling. I spent the time I needed carefully looking for the puzzle pieces that I needed to complete me. With a lot of help from someone who was a piece of me without me knowing, I found all of those pieces. I can now look and the mirror and appreciate what I see. While I may not always be a fan, I appreciate it. And I know that in my own way, I am beautiful.
Today I have the pieces, and I'll spend the rest of my life enjoying putting them together.
I was the kind of girl who just didn't care. I was lost, I was broken, and I was miserable. I pretended like I was fine, but don't we all? I was tired of being me. I spent most of my time alone, and nothing doing anything productive. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I hated that. I thought for some reason that it would ruin me. That I would fail, if I didn't figure it out, and soon. I would look in the mirror and be absolutely disgusted with what I saw. I hated everything about me. I was young and lonely. It was like someone took a puzzle and threw the pieces everywhere and they were impossible to find. So when I was trying to put me together, nothing would work right.
three years ago I gave up on trying.
today:
I'm the kind of girl who cares a lot more. I have been found, reassembled, and I feel genuinely happy 99% of the time. There's no more pretending, I just am. I still spend a lot of time alone, but I'm okay with it. I find something productive to do. I read more, I've started drawing more, I have a journal that keeps all the rambles of my creativity. I still don't know what exactly I want to do with my life, but I'm okay with not knowing. I like the mystery, and I like knowing that I have the capability to choose anything. I'm not afraid of falling. I have fallen, and I found someone who took the word love, and made it more than a word. They made it a feeling. I spent the time I needed carefully looking for the puzzle pieces that I needed to complete me. With a lot of help from someone who was a piece of me without me knowing, I found all of those pieces. I can now look and the mirror and appreciate what I see. While I may not always be a fan, I appreciate it. And I know that in my own way, I am beautiful.
Today I have the pieces, and I'll spend the rest of my life enjoying putting them together.
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