in other news.

i have a tumblr that I use sometimes.

do you?

Well I'm so proud tonight, of the woman you've beome.

3 years ago:
I was the kind of girl who just didn't care. I was lost, I was broken, and I was miserable. I pretended like I was fine, but don't we all? I was tired of being me. I spent most of my time alone, and nothing doing anything productive. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I hated that. I thought for some reason that it would ruin me. That I would fail, if I didn't figure it out, and soon. I would look in the mirror and be absolutely disgusted with what I saw. I hated everything about me. I was young and lonely. It was like someone took a puzzle and threw the pieces everywhere and they were impossible to find. So when I was trying to put me together, nothing would work right.
three years ago I gave up on trying.

today:
I'm the kind of girl who cares a lot more. I have been found, reassembled, and I feel genuinely happy 99% of the time. There's no more pretending, I just am. I still spend a lot of time alone, but I'm okay with it. I find something productive to do. I read more, I've started drawing more, I have a journal that keeps all the rambles of my creativity. I still don't know what exactly I want to do with my life, but I'm okay with not knowing. I like the mystery, and I like knowing that I have the capability to choose anything. I'm not afraid of falling. I have fallen, and I found someone who took the word love, and made it more than a word. They made it a feeling. I spent the time I needed carefully looking for the puzzle pieces that I needed to complete me. With a lot of help from someone who was a piece of me without me knowing, I found all of those pieces. I can now look and the mirror and appreciate what I see. While I may not always be a fan, I appreciate it. And I know that in my own way, I am beautiful.
Today I have the pieces, and I'll spend the rest of my life enjoying putting them together.

I've started a journal.

I picked up a notebook... or 6, and I've decided I'm going to do a project. I've been feeling rather lazy lately.
Not lazy in a 'i don't do anything' kind of way, because I still do things. Not much mind you, but I don't just sit on my ass all day!
Lazy in the kind of way, where I don't do anything creative anymore.
I don't draw.
I don't paint.
I don't sketch.
I don't design.
I don't play.

And I'm afraid that if I let it go for too long, I'll be dull. I lose my creativity, and I'll lose one of the parts of me I like best.

And this is where the journal comes in.
Everyday, I will write something. Whether it be an idea I plan on doing, or a thought that passes through my mind. Ideas for drawings, updates on how it's going, things I've dreamed, memories, plans, anything.
Anything but an update of my day.

let it begin!

♥b.

charleston chews.

they're delicious.

Tonight I cried so hard I couldn't breathe, because I thought I was about to lose someone I couldn't stand losing.

It's been a long time since that happened, and it was unpleasant.

Lady in a Dragon Sweater

I do not like the viscosity of pudding, but I like the taste(usually), it causes many a problem. I find that happens a lot, in which I don't like the texture of something, but I love the taste. Then I just usually don't eat it.
I don't like it when things feel weird in my mouth(twss).

I need a vacation from the wind and the rain. I want more sunshine. When I wake up in the morning I was to see happiness in the skies. Don't get me wrong, I love the rain, and I love cloudy days. But this is just getting boring. I'm too happy for these gloomy days.
It's almost winter, the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting colder, and I really need a hug to keep me warm.
Volunteers?

I have officially started a countdown. I'm going to vist a few friends in the neighboring province which I've known about since the summer, and now as it's only about a month away, I feel like I can count down.
I'll be leaving my peaceful, little, boring island life of solitude for 4 whole days of Nova Sco-tee-ah. Full of friends, laughs, and hardly any sleep. I'm excited to make this journey all by myself. 4 hours of driving all alone, with my music, my thoughts, no one to bother me. It will be lovely!

Did I tell you I'm moving to England? No? Well I am. I'm hoping to get into a school there to study photography, but if I don't get in I'll go anyway. I'll find work.

♥b

I want a Dalmatian.

unknown

but it was not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
didn't I, my dear?