I'll leave when the wind blows

I had a panic attack last night. 

They are really unpleasant things, I couldn't breath and everything felt like the world was going to crash. 

Horrid. 

Not to mention, I don't even know why it happened. I was asleep one minute then the next. HORRENDOUS-NESS. 

But, that's all said and done with, and hopefully won't happen for quite sometime.

OH! Fun times were had a Evan's. I really like my friends. I'm so glad I have 'em. Even when they disappear when I need to talk to them *coughCOLINcough*. But no, srsly guys. You're just amazing

I like you guys a whole lot :)

We don't want any awkward do we. 

♥ b

PIGGYBACKSALLAROUND

Untitled

*sigh*

I don't want things to be like this. 

Something is off inside me.

I'm sorry.

♥ b 

The Kind Of Fun You Only Dream About....

This could be fun guys! Leave me you're name and I'll do this thang :D

COMMENT WITH YOUR NAME, AND:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.

2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.

3. I'll pick a food substance to throw at you in the school cafeteria.

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (if possible, if not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me).

5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.

8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.

9. If you play, you MUST post this on yours. ( You don't HAVE to, but if you want to it could be fun!)

COLIN :)

1. You have a pair of Chucks.

2. Song: Believe Me Natalie - Teh Killers.. I won't get into the details, but basically it makes me happy, and so do you. Movie : WANTED(because you can do all those things, just like me[lulz])

3. Jell-O ... Orange Jell-O

4. 8-) (GUESS WHO?)

5. I can't remember that far, sorry. :\

6. Elephants, not because you're FAT or anything. But because I like Elephants, and I like you. 

7. Why do you worry so much?

8. My favourite thing about you is: how easy you are to talk to, you listen. I love it. And I love YOU Harry. And you're a super-fun-awesome-wicked-cool-party-kickass-time :)

TINNE! :D

1. The pronunciation of your name baffles me :D

2. Waving Flags - British Sea Power. It's a good song, very poetic, very charming. Kinda how I picture you :)

3. Cotton Candy. Of the blue variety. 

4. A beret is not as appealing as one might think. 

5.  This is what went through my mind "WHA!?!? Who's THIS??? *GASP* BELGIUM?????? .... Oh, sweet blog. *followed*"

6. Giraffe. Not because I think you're freakishly tall or anything. But for some reason if you were an animal I'd picture it to be a giraffe. 

7. How do you pronounce your name??

8. Well I don't know much about you just yet, but I really enjoy your blogs. ^.^

♥ kirsj.™!

1. You live in the bird sub-division.

2. Sweet Dreams - Air Supply, and a movie... Well Ghost World of course. 

3. Hot dogs. Not like... a hot dog but a dog, that is hot. 

4.  It's On RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Well it was in Gr. 10 english. When we did those LAME ass projects. And I though "Who's this guy? IDK who he is"

6. Dragons. Yeah they're animals. And you would be one. 

7. Why are your feet so dusty?

8. How much you know about me, and how easy you are to talk to. 

evan! 

1. You have that on unitard which should be burned, but it fun anyhow. 

2. Shake A Fist - Hot Chip. Because of that one time when we were in your van. And it was amazing. 

3. Rosary Beads. Yeah. I think that could provide an interesting food fight. 

4. Pilons in the SIS parking lot. 

5. Honestly, I vaguely remember you in Jr. High, but then It was really in Gr. When ... Well you know that one person followed  you often. And I was like "GRR, he's stealing mah bff". But now you're mah(one of) BFF:)

6. And owl. I give no reason. But you would be an owl. I know it. 

7. Is there a reason you wear different socks?

8. How everything you do is just beautiful. You're a beautiful person, I love it. 

carROLE.

1. You are Acadian.

2.  Kisses and Cake - ICAN'TREMEMBERBYWHO. But it's a very beautiful song. 

3. Croquembouche. Yes. Yes. 

4. A quote that only you have seen "......................"  "A succession of dots? That grammatical bastard!"

5. OMG A NEW GERL. *ditch* 

6. A unicorn. Mhmm. You remind me of unicorns. When I see you I think "Unicorn. Right there."

7. Why are you so great?

8. My favourite thing about you, is how you can take everything I say, and turn it around to make me happy. You listen, to console, you care, you relate. My favourite thing about you, in short(LULZ), is that you exist! 

All The Streetlights Glowing

Happen to be just like moments, passing right in front of me. 

Merry Christmas!

Yay. I really do enjoy Christmas most times, although there was something about this one that set it off for me. 

I did get everything I asked for though which was sweet. 

These are the highlights:

-808's & Heartbreaks (You know, that Kanye West CD)

-World of Warcraft (Yes, I've become nerdy like that)

-LEG WARMERS (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!)

-Sweat-pants (So I can go to school looking like a dirtbag)

- Pj's (two pairs! I love pj's)

- Jarhead ( I love that movie)

Of course I got quite a few other things, OH! I also got an external hard-drive with 160GB of space. Probably my favourite gift. My computer was getting pretty full, like I had about 5GB of 99.6 or something like that left. Which is ridiculous because I only just got my computer about a year ago! Agh! It's crazy. But, on one hand, I do take a lot of photos. It's what I do. And guess how many photos I transferred over to the external hard-drive? 10577, and no I did not add an extra 7, there was TENTHOUSANDFIVEHUNDREDSEVENTYSEVEN photos on my computer, at 6+ megapixels each, and more recently 12megapixels. HOLYCOW!!!! It just blew my mind actually. So then I decided it would be best to move all my music over onto that also, and there was about 3582 songs. WAH!?! Also blew my mind. So my mind was exploded twice. I now have over 56GB of free space on my computer. Yay

I hope you all had a good day.

♥ b.

Somethings still missing 

Don't Go Wasting Your Emotion

I'm cleaning the house, and blogging at the same time, because I'm a multi-tasker like that :)

I kicked the laundry down the stairs when I accidentally my santa! Oh noes! Ah well I'm sure he'll be fine.

I'm pretty sure my neighbors are going to love me. I'm home alone, thus my music is hella loud, and it's the Mamma Mia soundtrack. Right, Let's get to cleaning shall we?

The little kids in the park are getting quite a show :D Also, I just dropped a knife that almost landed on my feet! :\bw

Wow, this is actually going really fast, considering I'm blogging/making tea/rearranging/talking to joe/dancing. It's brilliant!

Break time? I think so. Well I've dont just about everything my Mama wanted me to do, in an hour, which considering all the things I had to do, is great time. 

Ahh, tea, what a lovely thing. 

Ya'know I spent the whole night thinking instead of sleeping. Which really when you think about it wasn't really a sensible thing but I did it anyway. I thought about many a thing. Mostly because my parents decided to take the time and yell at me for no particular reason last night. So I thought about leaving, and where I would leave to. The where in which I want to go is really no mystery. I just wonder if I could do it alone. I want to say yes, but there's a part of me that doesn't think I can. I just worry about everything, and ... Well it's just nonesense really, and I don't know why I worry about some of the things I do. Alas. it can not be helped. 

Of course I thought of numerous other things that I won't get into just now, but.. I've written the down so they will be posted soon enough. 

Back to cleaning 

♥ b. 

Lay all your love on me.

Gingerbread FTW

So, my family made gingerbread cookies today. We do it every year, a bit of family bonding if you will. And even though we're all pretty old, we still love it. :D

This is the result. 

These are mine. Sparkle face, and that's 'sposed to be me. But, they're in love :D

Nate made this one! His leg broke. Note the surprised face :O

This one is Lindy's. Just look at that face, I couldn't stop laughing!

Then there was one left over, so Nate and I decided to split it in half vertically, each decorate a side then ice him back together. He's pretty sweet I think. (I did the red side)

Then Brandon did this one. I think it looks JUST like him :D

That's the one I made, it's supposed to be me. Only black, because I had no white icing :D I've yet to eat it. Not sure if I want to ... EVER :D

♥ b

Bring back Pangea!

kthx.

And from your lips...

... he drew the Hallelujah.

So, I won a chair. 

It's actually a pretty sweet chair.

It belonged to Todd MacLean. And I'm betting you probably don't know who that is. He's a great guy, plays keys for Smothered In Hugs. And he gave it away, names were put into a basket, and some kid... Who's name was Alex I recall pulled out my name. Then proceeded to tell the whole place my phone number. Thanks some kid named Alex(I think). 

So yeah, the show as a whole was just great, we danced, took some polls, and of course I did get that chair.

All in all friday was a good day. Went to school, met some weird kid, who like smelled me :\. He was kinda funny sometimes though. Then I went to that concert, and won that chair. 

Which brings me into today, was an equally great day. I spent most of the day with my sister, which actually rarely happens. And it's not that I don't want to spend time with her, it's just lately she's been really getting on my nerves. Very invasive, and clingy. I think I'm just getting bored with her, and we need to not spend so much time together. I mean, my sister's always been my best friend, until I started telling her things that I didn't want anyone to know, and she would follow that up by telling my mom. Ever since then my trust in her diminished. So I just stopped telling her things, and didn't hang out with her as much. I've been told this really upset her, and I know this is going to sound kind of mean, but she just needs to get more friends than me. But at the same time, hanging out with her today was really nice. We had a pretty good break in which

♥b   

My Castles Stand

Upon pillars of salt.

Gah! So much tired. I think I've developed a sleeping disorder.
I try to sleep, I really do... I just can't. :(

Colin was over last night, I got a hair cut and he straightened his hair.


BAH. Work to do I spose.

Indie show later! Yayyyy

♥ b

what a creep!

Everything is happenin so fast

BAH.

damn you. con-few-sed-nesss. Damn you.

Woo! I've only had about 3.5 hours of sleep in like 3 days. So I'm running on like, fumes FUMES I tell you. 

But! on the plus side, I have made all of your gifts, and they're late being sent, I know, but I was hella busy with school, and had no money. 

However, The Bank de 'Rents is providing tomorrow, so you should get them before the new year!!! :D

I made each one of them, and I put a lot of work into picking certain things. Oh, and you'll each get a hand-written letter, from me explaining the gifts, although I'm pretty sure they're really easy to pick up on ^.^

Woo! I saw Carole today, I did miss her. 

And I talked to Evan on the phone, indie show friday:) i'm excited. 

Also, chill times with Colin tomorrow

and a haircut, then stickam/skype fest with you lovely people

then christmas.

then new years.

Ahh, the things I look forward to. 

The small things. . .

I had a warm freshly baked apple fritter today. It was great. I've not had one in ages. 

I didn't sleep last night, not by choice, so I woke up feeling ill. 

'Twas that warm freshly baked fritter that made me happy. 

I'm taking a poll.

Mullets or Handlebar mustaches?

Let me know !

I've been Le tagged.

I got tagged by Tinne!!!

Rules: Answer all of the questions with a word that begins with the same letter that either you name, blogger id, or blog's name begins with.

1. What is your name: Becky
2. A 4 Letter word: Boat
3. A Boys Name: Bartholomew
4. A Girls Name: Betsy
5. An Occupation: Bad-Ass (it's a real job ya'know)
6. A Color: Blue 
7. Something you wear: Bottoms 
8. A Beverage: Banana-Smoothie (ooh, thinking)
9. A Food: Bunt Cake
10. Something found in the bathroom: Brush, for the teeth (see how I swerved that one)
11. A place: Belgium (Hmmmmm :D)
12. A Reason for being late: Bombarded by bears (THREE IN ONE!)
13. Something you shout: BAH!

And now, I tagggggggg, Colin, Evan and Zoe!. 

To Do:

Just some things I need to get done... ASAP.

*finish this god-for-saken box.[check]

*make a surrealist drawing containing a shoe, a bell, and some rope.

*work on a part of the secret project.

*figure out what I can get you lovely bloggers :)[semi-check]

*shower[check]

*clean my windows.[check]

*make a cup of tea(or1500)[check][check][check][check][check]

*fill up my music device.[check]

*fix this damn M key. [check]

*make some paper tubes, and get a lamp, proceed with picture drawing. 

*get some photos, perhaps.[check]

*hate the weather[check]

Oh look. A PHOTO :D

Those are just some things I plan on doing today. Hopefully I get them all done by midnight!

♥b. 

My Wish List...

Ohmygosh, no way!!! Yes WAY.

Alright, so Sparklegreen had this brilliant idea of making a wish list, of five smalls things(cool pen, mix cd etc.) and five big things(friendship, peace etc.) Deets are here.


Items that are tinyyyyy:
-Mix CD's always make me happy. Fill it with the music you listen to, I'm always up for a new music experience:)
-Charcoal. I love charcoals, and I'm running low, my drawings utensils are diminishing.
- Anything pretty. I like small little pretty things. Homemade, bought, imaginary. If it's pretty I like it :D
-A bracelet, you know like the ones you make. I love having things on my wrist, bracelets are brilliant.
- A piece of art you made. Be creative. :D It doesn't even have to be good. Just fun!

And the bigger things:
-Clarity
-Happiness
-Forgivness
-A lovely pretty snowfall. Not a storm please.
-Brandon Flowers(Probably the least likely of all of these things XD)



So there you have it folks :D. I can't wait to read the rest of yours.
Oh! And my skype name is: be.cky17 

Yeah, I know this for sure now:)


♥ b.

The things I do...

I frequently watch the same movies over, and over again. Yes, if given the opportunity between, a movie I haven't seen, and one I have... I'd choose the one I have seen. I really don't know why... I guess I like familiarity. 

Sometimes I like to watch the people walking by on my street. My desk is right by the window, and when I sit there, I'll open the blinds, and watch the children play, watch the cars drive by, or people passing through.

I watch Heroes every monday night. I never miss an episode, No matter what I'm doing I'll always make time for it. Any of the other shows I watch, if I can't watch them... I'll catch up later.

I wash my hair twice per shower. I don't know why, and I'm sure it's not really healthy for my hair, but I do it. 

I cut my own bangs. If they're getting too long, or just annoying as fuck. I cut that shit up. Yeah, I do it. 

I swear too much. Way too much. I mean, not as much as fu-freakin' some people. But yeah I do it. And sometimes I find it difficult to not say 'fuck' in front of my mother. Who would actually shoot me in the face. 

I spend too much time in my room. In fact most of my time. But I can't help it, my family annoys the hell out of me. 

When I find a song I like, I'll listen to it fifteen-hundred times. Prime example: Waving Flags British Sea Power. If you've never heard it... I definitely recommend it. 

I procrastinate. Bitch please! But really, I actually do. Right now I should be doing my homework, but instead I'm writing this and watching heroes.

I confuse easily.  About lots of things. I won't get into much detail about it. 

I like to touch. Not inappropriately but, I like holding peoples hands, and I like hugging. :)

I love some people. Family and friends of course.

I like to re-read my conversations. Yeah, I'll go into my chat log, and read through some of the past convo's I've had with some people. 

I have this list...

I work on it periodically. I really do, and a friend wrote a list, and inspired me to write down mine, well at least a few off of my actual list. 

This paper actually exists. I keep it hidden in my room, so no one can find it. 

So here, 

we, 

go...

* Learn to Beat-Box ; I'm sure most people know that I would actually love to learn how to beat-box. Like I am one-hundred-percent serious, beat boxing would make my like so much better. 

* Watch every single James Bond movie back to back ; Now I bet you're thinking "Why the hell would you do that?" My answer, I like James Bond, and it's just something I've always wanted to do. 

* Write something ; Of course I'm writing something now, but I mean like, write something so beautiful, so truthful, so moving that you won't know what hit you. 

*Be Content ; With myself, with my life, with school, with everything. Because as it stands, I'm really only content when it comes to 2 things. 

*Learn how to play the piano ; Well, I can play now. But I want to be better, I want to know how to do more. 

*Jump from something ; A bridge, a waterfall, a plane, a tower. With a bungee cord of course. I'm afraid of heights. 

*Move to England ; Always something I've wanted to do. I've more of a reason to want it now.

*Decide ; Figure out what it is exactly that I want to do with my life. I keep changing my mind. And I need to just decide.

*Come to terms ; With who I am. There's so many aspects of who I am that I'm still uncomfortable with. I need to just accept them.

*Tell the truth ; I don't lie to others. I lie to me. 

*Be Amazed ; I would absolutely love to be truly amazed by someone. I've been pretty amazed as it is, but I think in person would result in better amazement. 

*Learn to not hate anyone ; I generally try to not hate people, but there are 3 people who i can say I genuinely hate. And I need to not. 

*Have the most amazing kiss ; Yeah, I'm sure we all want it. But I want it to stop the earth. 

*Be more open ; I keep things bottled away too much, I should probably open the lid and share. 

Here it is, edition one. 

Do you have a list? If so, I definitely think you should share said list!

♥ b. 

Back From Suffragette City...

... Well actually I've never been there. 

I'm working on a top secret project, that I'm actually really excited to do. 

Only. I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, and I worry about that. But I'm sure all will be fine. :)

Oh! And I totally forgot to say how the Nude Man Drawing went. It wasn't that bad actually. At first it was like "Ahh! THERE'S A NAKED MAN IN FRONT OF ME", then it was just like, "Oh, alright.. there's a naked  in front of me". He was very attractive though. So that's always a bonus. Also, it was his first time modeling so I'm sure he was just as nervous as the rest of us, and generally kept his man parts covered. One thing I didn't like though, was... throughout the duration of the drawing... He kept looking at me :|. Whilst I was staring at his naked bodeh. 

I'm sure I blushed a little. 

Ah well, I actually can't wait till we do it again. With a man that is. I'm very accustomed to the female body anyway, partially because I have one, partially because we've drawn them like 1500 times. So yeah, More man drawings to come. 

So, I just put up my christmas tree:). I love that smell. We went to the woods today and it was great. There was this pond there that I'd never seen before, it was all frozen over, and I really wanted to walk out into the middle of it. I only went a few feet though. As I was afraid I might fall in and get my camera wet. Yes I was more concerned about my camera than me getting hypothermia.  The picture from above is from my quest through the woods, while Nate and Dad hunted for tree branches, and TREE. :)

I've just been informed that Barb has passed away. Barb the secretary who we all as students, as people came to know and love. She married my neighbors father a few months ago, and was recently diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I'm sad to see her go, yet I do know she lived a great life.

♥b

I wonder if she ever got to Graceland. I know she'd always wanted to go.

It's been a while.

We haven't really talked in a while, 

And I kinda missed that, I kinda missed you. 

I'm happy things are good with you, and I'm glad we can be like this again. 

Perhaps I'll visit you someday. 

Sounds Pretty Harsh

Welcome to the thursday morning edition of Becky's blog.

Yay for Communications/Computer Literacy, without it... Thursday blogs would probably not exist.

*sigh*

But not one of those sighs that's like "Oh I'm sad", it's more like a "Oh, FUCK OFF" kind of sigh.
Usually it's just the one. Today there are two that are being particularly annoying.
And I try to be nice, when they talk to me directly... But, in all reality I reallly reallllllllllllly don't like them. there are very few people who I genuinely hate. These two fall into that small small list.
Yes, you've mentioned numerous times before that you like video games. I'm pretty sure we realize that by now. Thanks for telling us just one more time.
Oh, I seem to have forgotten... Do you like video games? It's a little unclear.

Urg.

So today in grade 2, we're learning how to do research.
Writing Process Phase 1:
Analyze.

I'll analyze the shit out of that. Phase 1 makes it seem like we're going on like, a top secret spy mission. Oh, that would be much more exciting than learning things I've already learned.

Tim might some in to work on the computer. No, no he's not. Goodbye Tim, I hardly knew ye.


Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Sorry, I just fell asleep on the 'l' key because this class is so boring. Next semester we get to write a research paper. Yay for brian stimulation.

Well, I think I may play jetman. I need something to pass the time. :)

♥ b.

My Global Position Systems.

Lights!

Camera! 

Action! 

My phone's been disconnected. I some how managed a hella huge phone bill, that they're still unable to explain. And until I pay off their mistake, I've no phone. Peachy.

So that's that. 

I got some mail today, I quite love getting mail. Even if it's junk mail. Today however, I received a letter from Canada Pension welcoming me to Canada Pension. Last year I put in 75.02$ into it. That's interesting. I also got a letter from the Canadian Blood Services. I donated blood a few weeks back, the letter was to say thanks. Also I got a card that informs everyone who roots through my wallet that I've got A+ blood. So if I ever need any, and you have the same... Well just lend me some. Kthx.

You're my honey-bunch sugarplum pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you're my sweetie pie. 

Oh, my youth. Where art thou? Well clearly in the past. I kind of want it back. I want to go back to how things were, but at the same time not. Because had I gone back in time, I would have shit friends. I mean, I quite like the friends I have now, and really don't know what I'd do without them most of the time. Even if they choose not to talk to me. 

I guess if I were to go back in time... I'd go to see this one person again. Say good-bye. Stuff like that.  Maybe take all the nerve I now have and let some people know how I really feel about them. Ultimately resulting in a probably, slightly, a smidgen happier Becky. 

Figure drawing today. Normally I don't mind figure drawing. But today, we had Sarah. This woman's got like no boobs. At all. AND, she doesn't shave. No where. Underarms, legs, anywhere. I mean, one would think that if you are going to be drawn, in a room full of people between the ages of 19-25, you'd at least tidy up a bit. All natural just isn't the way to go. It just isn't. 

And! And! And! Friday. For the first time eva, I'll be drawing a nude model. A male one. A nude male, just standing right in front of me. His man parts all exposed. In one part I'm kinda excited to be drawing a man, but at the same time, I've never done a man before. (lol). 

So yeah, that could be eventful. None of the guys in my class are too thrilled about it. Which is kinda funny. They also weren't huge fans of Hairy McHairington. 

Let me tell something to joo, well ask joo I spose. What are you thoughts on being able to go back into time, to change something, tell someone something? How about me drawing the male bodeh? Would you do it? Have you done it?

♥ b. 

And they'll meet one day, far away and say "I wish I was something more"

 

Actually...

Just don't.

Not right now. 

Just. 

Don't