It shouldn't have taken this long.

The more I sit here and think about it, the more that I can't forgive myself for allowing the sea of separation pull us away.

I'm going to tell you a story, you may be interested, you may not... But please.. Just listen.

I once had this friend, one might argue that of course, I must have had a lot of friends. And, in a way... the statement is true, but I've not had a friend like this. Nor, do I think I could ever have a friend of the same magnitude ever again.
I think, for you to get the full effect, I'll have to start at the beginning.

I was 14, maybe 15. That was the first time we met, in English I think. Through a mutual friend. But, I guess in retrospect, the when and how is unimportant. What's important is as high school progressed, so did our friendship. Finding ourselves in more and more classes together I began to realize just how wonderful he truly is. He became my other half, the zig to my zag if you will.

I remember the time when we had plans to make power rangers out of paperclips. And that time we took a stroll around the big city with camera's. The time when there was treasure to be sought, and Gross Domestic Product being formed. When I realized we were so much alike. How we'd spend the afternoon listening to crazy music, and making unnecessary websites. Creeping people we'd never even met before. Loving that fellow at the petrocan. I remember press-ons and cars being fixed. A coffee and a donut almost every morning. Drinks till the we hours of the morning, holding hands for fun. A stolen grad ring that I hold on to because it reminds me of everything good.

We created a game in which we would tell each other things no one knew about us, only pulling us closer at friends. And then... Something happened.
I don't even know what it was, or how it came to be. But it did... and things began to disintegrate. We saw less and less of each other. For a long time it was hard, really hard for me to live with less you. Then for a bit it was normal... But I started to realize it was just wrong. And I didn't like it. Not one bit. And then... I fell apart. Completely. And the only person I wanted to be with me was you. So we made plans to hang out the next, have a steamer. But I was followed. And that time I wanted with you to be ... sad... was interrupted.
I'd see you having grand ol times with different people, and I'd get jealous a bit. I suppose this is being selfish of me, for wanted things to go back to the way they were before, because I don't even know if you want things to return. If you don't, then that's okay... I guess what I really wanted you know is that I miss you.

And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting our friendship slip away to a talk-only-every-so-often kind of thing. I'm sorry that after I stopped driving, I allowed myself to drift away. I'm sorry I stole your grad ring.


So there you have it folks. We fell, it was hard, then for a brief moment the impact became lighter, until I started to realize what happened. The truth is, I think I let it slide for so long, because I didn't want to realize it was fading. I lied to myself.

That's all.


I'm sorry, I miss you. And even if we stay in this talk-and-hang-out-every-so-often kind of thing[though I really hope we don't] I'll always refer to you as the person who knows the most about who I am. Possibly a bit more than I know. You'll always be one of the best friends I've ever, and will ever have.

<3 b