Without Much Regard To The Moon

Or the stars.


Thinking: Something I haven't been doing a lot of, until lately.

I've spent the whole summer lounging about, spending my days at the beach, or reading, painting, drawing, you name it.
Which, aside from the never having money to do anything of any substance was quite splendid.
Now, the summer is almost over, and I've been working full time for about a month. The money is lovely, incredible actually, but I have less time for me.
Less time to explore the very depths of my own mind, less time to go to Narnia, or Camp Half-Blood.
Less time to draw myself new places to visit, new identities, new creatures.
Less time to work on the only tan I've had since I was 6 years old.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE working, I really do. I work in a bookshop, and for an avid reader, it's glorious to get to interact, and discuss what you've read(or are reading) with people for hours on end.
It's like I'm getting paid for book club.

School: I think I graduated

I've successfully complete 2 years of school, and graduated with pretty good grades, and a diploma in something I'm not even using.
Now, it's not that I'm bad at what I learned, it's just I don't think I'm that good.
My parents tell me I'm great, but I'm a bit skeptical at believing them.

But questioning my skills aside, I've been thinking that I want to do more. I want to learn more, and see more.
Do I go back into chemistry like I had originally planned?
Or, do I continue along the route of art? I've been thinking a lot about Art History, or just history in general. While they both intrigue me, I have absolutely no idea what one would do with a major in Art History.
And the more I think about it, the more I fear that I'm not cut out for anything, and I'm destined to be stuck on the Island, working in the bookshop for the rest of my life.


Travel: I really need to get out more.

I'm a curious, 21 year old girl with an interest in photography. I like to see the world the way it was meant to be seen, tragic, and beautiful.
Saying that, I feel like I haven't seen enough of the world. I've been out of Canada one time, which for a girl who lives in a community where everyone knows everyone else it was absolutely incredible!
I liked not knowing where I was going, who I was going to meet, or what I would see. I want more of that. I want more of this


People: Sometimes I like them.

My friends are all of back to university, and I'm here left alone. I bet you're probably thinking "stupid girl, stop complaining", but I don't like being alone. I never really have. I mean, I like having time to myself, but I like it when my friends are around when I need them to be and such.

Recently I've been talking to someone, with whom I lost touch with for a while. Not that it was wanted, but things happen and days pass by. Unconnected.
Have you ever known exactly how you feel about someone, but could never put words to it? I'm having this dilemma right now. Just knowing this person exists, brightens my day. I've been sat here for 20 minutes trying to find words to describe how fond I am of this person, but it's hard. They can make me smile when everything is falling to bits, and I find it very difficult to have a conversation with them without giggling uncontrollably. And when they say Hi to me, I light up.
I only wish they could see it.

Then one more thing about people, I've finally managed to get over it.
It took me longer than I wanted, but it's over, and I'm okay.



Myself: silly girl with too much time on her hands

Without getting too much into it, I had the idea not long ago where I was boring.
I thought about getting into some bad things to 'spice' up my life, if you will.
I've gotten past it, and have decided that even if I am boring, then I'm okay with it.
My life may be monotonous at times, but it is just that, my life.
So I should probably learn to enjoy it eh?

I'm working on it.


It's been a while, I hope to see you around more often

♥ b.

Trouble is a friend, but trouble is a foe.