Oh, It's a Perfect Day?

She carried her heart unbuttoned across the lonely stage.

That she did.  Today is definitely a Sarah Slean day. Yes, quite. 

I came to my room today. And sat here. I turned on my computer, sat down, and just stared at the screen. Doing nothing. Just sitting here, appearing offline. Hiding if you will. 

This lasted about an hour. Then I got bored of the ranting going on down stairs, I stood up, and walked to the door, stood there and listened for a bit, really just annoyed with all that was happening. I closed the door, and walked back completely hollow, to my chair. The need for some music is what made me stop being so anti-social. 

Even know as I sit here writing this, I still feel hollow. I've been talking to several people, one reminiscing on some good times, one perusing hilarity on the internet, one who's problems I'd love to solve, and 2 others together, having a ball I presume.  

They're all people whom I enjoy talking to on a regular basis, but right now... I sort of feel like I'm forcing interest. Well, in a couple anyway. 

Look at me, crying in my sleep.

This happens frequently really. We're supposed to be keeping a dream journal. But passing in a journal of dreams that result in a horribly shaken up Becky are not ones I'd like to share with Branch-Rice. So the dream journal I will not keep, yet use my imagination to bewilder her. And hopefully she won't realize I took a trip Bull-Shit land. Hopefully she won't noticed. 

She probably will. 

So on top of all in my head right now making me feel like this I had to go and count balls. What a waste of four and a half fucking hours of my life. 

A complete waste. 

That's enough to be said. 

I am sad. I am hollow. I am fractured, but I am not completely broken.

♥ b. 

If I could be sad for eternity to make everything right for the ones I love, I would totally take that offer.